Hate is such an ugly word, but.....

I hate not being able to work out.

I hate giving in to random, unhealthy craving because I often hurt too bad to bother to make healthy meals.

I hate being a slave to my body.

Just few more days, and my insurance should kick in. In the meantime, screw it.

I will not let some little tumor or cyst or what have you put my life on hold anymore. I made it to SKK yesterday, and made it through a whole class, despite the nagging pain in my pelvis and severe allergies. I hurt so badly today, but I am so happy I pushed myself through.

I've lost most of the gains I made in upper body strength (12 push-ups yesterday, as opposed to 25 just a couple months ago), and gained back most of the weight. It's disheartening. I haven't even stepped on the scale in several weeks, but my pants are getting tighter again.

I think whatever is going on with my body is making it harder to lose the weight, but right now, I want to concentrate on building my strength and endurance back up. I want to belt up before Christmas, and keep progressing toward black belt.

/close declaration of intent.

On a happy note, another newer student belted up yesterday, so congrats the The Artist. It was fun to participate in his test, and Si Fu allowed me the honor of teaching The Artist his first new move post test. I find I greatly enjoy teaching and helping the other students. This is just one more thing to motivate me to continue my training, so I can at some point teach others.

This week is insane; election type stuff, and J & I's anniversary tomorrow will be keeping me busy, but I'll be aiming to ride my stationary bike at least 10 minutes a night, and hope to be able to go the gym Friday after work. I have some small knitting projects, and finally re-discovered the cable for my mp3 player, and I expect this will keep me on the treadmill/bike longer than I normally have the attention span for.

On a final note, I think I will soon spend some time profiling the various members of our little band of martial artists, and others in my life. I know people I don't know occasionally stop by to check this corner of the intarwebs out, and I feel the need to maintain the anonymity of others I write about. Si Fu and The Artist have been introduced, but prepare for a larger cast of characters in the coming weeks :)