My insurance finally kicked in, so I was able to see the doctor last week. All my blood tests came back fine, which means my issues are likely not related to a pituitary adenoma. I have an ultrasound this afternoon to check my pelvis and see if it's a localized issue, like cysts or edometriosis.
Missed SKK last week due to the flu from hell G brought home from school. Took me all week just to start eating again. I did manage to go this week, and am quite sore with a rather nasty bruise on my wrist that I don't remember getting. Fun times with throwing people around. You never know what's going to get hurt!
Wednesday I have a business dinner meeting with Si Fu to discuss other responsibilities, ordering patches, stickers, and the like, and taste his culinary ability. He has a very important interview for a very prestigious internship in a world class kitchen next week, so I'm looking forward to the opportunity to try his chosen craft.
Work is hectic, I have no desire to go the gym, and all I want to do is sleep and knit. Trying to get out of the post-flu funk, but it's taking awhile. Good news is I lost nearly all the weight I gained back in less than a week.
Mini Update
Hate is such an ugly word, but.....
I hate not being able to work out.
I hate giving in to random, unhealthy craving because I often hurt too bad to bother to make healthy meals.
I hate being a slave to my body.
Just few more days, and my insurance should kick in. In the meantime, screw it.
I will not let some little tumor or cyst or what have you put my life on hold anymore. I made it to SKK yesterday, and made it through a whole class, despite the nagging pain in my pelvis and severe allergies. I hurt so badly today, but I am so happy I pushed myself through.
I've lost most of the gains I made in upper body strength (12 push-ups yesterday, as opposed to 25 just a couple months ago), and gained back most of the weight. It's disheartening. I haven't even stepped on the scale in several weeks, but my pants are getting tighter again.
I think whatever is going on with my body is making it harder to lose the weight, but right now, I want to concentrate on building my strength and endurance back up. I want to belt up before Christmas, and keep progressing toward black belt.
/close declaration of intent.
On a happy note, another newer student belted up yesterday, so congrats the The Artist. It was fun to participate in his test, and Si Fu allowed me the honor of teaching The Artist his first new move post test. I find I greatly enjoy teaching and helping the other students. This is just one more thing to motivate me to continue my training, so I can at some point teach others.
This week is insane; election type stuff, and J & I's anniversary tomorrow will be keeping me busy, but I'll be aiming to ride my stationary bike at least 10 minutes a night, and hope to be able to go the gym Friday after work. I have some small knitting projects, and finally re-discovered the cable for my mp3 player, and I expect this will keep me on the treadmill/bike longer than I normally have the attention span for.
On a final note, I think I will soon spend some time profiling the various members of our little band of martial artists, and others in my life. I know people I don't know occasionally stop by to check this corner of the intarwebs out, and I feel the need to maintain the anonymity of others I write about. Si Fu and The Artist have been introduced, but prepare for a larger cast of characters in the coming weeks :)
One step forward, five steps back
It's been a crap month. Those cramps that nearly kept me from completing my belt test are back, hard. At least three days a week. I've been to the doctor, I've been to the ER, and we may have some idea what is wrong. Right now, I'm waiting for my insurance to kick in (around Oct. 27), and then I will be able to go to the appropriate specialist for a diagnosis.
The symptoms point toward a pituitary adenoma, which is a comforting term for tumor. If it is a tumor, however, it is extremely unlikely it is any kind of cancer. This particular kind is fairly common, and excretes excess prolactin (the hormone responsible for causing lactation after pregnancy). This throws the body's entire hormonal balance out whack, causing symptoms like bone crunching pain in the pelvis (like cramps, but with a chainsaw instead of a hammer), random breakouts, random lactation (yeah, I know, gross and weird), and headaches. The pain medicine is getting me through the days right now, but I can't wait to get a diagnosis and move on with my life. I can't work out, because it makes the pain worse. I am trying to make it to kung fu each week, but even that is taxing. Also, I agreed to return to the handbell choir at my church, and while I love to ring, standing in one spot for a little more than an hour kills me. Doesn't help it's on the day when the cramps are usually the worst.
But! There is good news. Si fu called me last weekend to make sure I wasn't dropping out of class (awful cramps and G's bday party caused me to miss an unheard of 3 weeks), and ask if I would be interested in taking over the business side of Cras~Tao Kungfu,in exchange for a little off my monthly fee. I agreed without hesitation. He is incredibly busy, and I am more than happy to help out with something I am so passionate about. I will be handling all the paperwork, marketing, payments, etc. This week alone, I managed to knock out a new and improved contract, a system for tracking attendance and payments, and a student profile sheet. I also put to together this:
This is my first real attempt at graphic design, and I'm fairly proud of it. Si fu was also surprisingly impressed, and immediately agreed to make it the school logo. I need to do some cleaning up for it to be resized for large print applications, but for now, it works for school paperwork and should be sufficient for patches and stickers.
I'm working on a nasty head cold, and was at church to ring bells at 7:45, so I was in no shape to perform at class today. Instead, I helped wrangle another student's son (from now on, we'll call him Squish), and assisted in teaching class. I observed, offered pointers for cleaning up moves, and occasionally got up and demonstrated when necessary. It was actually nice to be able to work with the white belts and focus on them, not on my own forms. Si fu wants me to instruct eventually, and I think is already starting to groom me. Makes me happy.
Fail.
Last week sucked. Immediately after my last post, I began puking violently. Turns out the ketchup I grabbed out of the drawer at work was probably ten years old. I didn't pay attention when I put it on my sandwich, and noticed it tasted funny. When I looked, the ketchup was nearly black*.
I spit out what remained of the bite, and hoped for the best. Within a couple hours, I could keep nothing down. This of course, affected my ability to go to the gym. I made it Friday though, and to SSK Sunday, and back to the gym yesterday. Aside from being extremely tired**, this week seems to be shaping up to be better. I'm not sure if I'll make it to the treadmill and weights today (see footnote below), but I will at least get 20 minutes or so in on my bike at home. Tonight I weigh in and measure, so hopefully I'll have good news to report soon!***
*I feel some technicolor yawning coming on even recounting the story
**While life insurance (type, amount) is a worthy subject, 12am, the night before I have to go to work is not the time.
***No, I don't think having a filet mignon smothered in shrimp, crab, and hollandaise and a luscious creme brulee Saturday is a set back. Really. So what if it contained enough calories to make me gain 5 pounds?
Can I get some painkillers? An asprin?
Really, the pain is quite incredible.
~Wesley, BTVS
Good god I am sore from last night's martial arts adventure. I not only got 7 (SEVEN!) new kicks, a couple new strikes, and time with Si Fu on my new escrima sticks, I got a new, advanced Chin Na* move. My hips and legs are a little tired from the use of new muscles for harder and more dangerous kicks, but what really makes me want to lay in bed on a heating pad all day hurts is my back. I can only assume it is angry at me for picking up three men, average of 200lbs apiece, and throwing them down. In order to do this**, the opponent is behind me, holding me in a bear hug. I rap his hands with my knuckles repeatedly in order to make him let go. I slip to the left, rack him, slip to the right (my left hip now lines up with his right), throw my right arm around the back of his waist, grab his right arm with my left hand, bend over, and do the twist. The opponent lands on the ground on his back. It's quite a lot of fun to do, but it certainly works muscles that don't normally get worked, even when lifting weights.
No movement on the scale to report, but given that I've been under the weather most of the week, I'm okay with that. I have dinner with mother tonight, and I will take my packed gym bag with me, so I can head straight there after. Assuming my back doesn't completely give out by the end of the night, that is.
*Chin Na means to "trap and lock", and is a method of controlling an opponent's ability to move/fight/defend, similar to Jujitsu.
**DO NOT try this at home.
The devil is in the details
I spent last Thursday and Friday evenings on the couch with Buffy, a big coke, and munchies. During my whole two day break from a god awful and brutal strict diet and exercise routine, I gained back two pounds. Not a huge amount, but when I weighed myself Saturday morning, it was devastating.
By Saturday afternoon I was back at the gym, and Sunday, back to martial arts. Of course, I woke up Monday morning with whatever dread sinus/throat/ear crap someone was kind enough to pass on to me. Made it to the doc yesterday, and one day after heavy duty antibiotics and sinus medication, I'm almost back to normal. This has to be the quickest recovery from an upper respiratory infection I have ever had. I'm planning on making it to SSK tonight, and back to the gym tomorrow, and my diet is back on track, now that I can stand up long enough to make something to eat.
This morning I woke up and realized I had no clean clothes for this morning. I'd managed to completely forget to throw in a load in my cough medicine haze. Cringing, I pulled out a pair of pants I hadn't worn in months because they were tight and uncomfortable. I am now sitting at my desk, wearing said pants, and they aren't cutting into my waist at all. Yesterday, I noticed my size 18 dress slacks that I would love if they weren't size 18 are getting big, falling off my hips big. I have not lost that much weight, but it's becoming clear I'm losing size. Even my bras are just a little big in the cups.
These are the accomplishments I need, and need to record, because they keep me going. If I can fit into the pants I wore a year ago, I know I'm making serious progress.
Historic Moment
Yesterday, I completed my belt test and earned the rank of yellow belt. Two years after initially starting the class, and after 3 months of focus and determination, I am the first woman in our class to rank up.
Despite nearly debilitating cramps, I made it through 25 push ups and Chinese sit ups, 35 jumping jacks, 20 minutes or so of drills, and exhibiting my ability to perform 6 combinations, 8 point blocking system, and first pinion. By the time I was halfway through drills, I no longer noticed the pain in my pelvis, just the burning in my legs from kicking from horse stance. Si Fu was pleased with my progress and happily gave me my new belt. Afterward, he served traditional chinese green tea to all in attendance, to mark the occasion.
Si Fu's vision is to see this little class of misfits grow into a true dojo. If that happens, I am honored to hold the distinction of being the first woman to move beyond white belt. My, and his, next goal is for me to become the dojo's first female fighter. That means making it through yellow, orange, and purple, to my blue belt, and begin sparring.
Of course, today, I feel the pain of that small, first acheivement, as well as the pain of being a woman. In celebration, I'll spend the day on the heating pad with plenty of water, and the occasional bit of something awful for me.
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